Guns

I guess guns are in. I bought one this weekend. Not a real one of course, that would actually cost money and involve more licensing and paperwork registration. I bought a toy that looks damn real for 3000W. It's the kind that would get you shot by a police officer in the US and is thus banned. They're easy to come by here, sold in stationary stores where school children can buy school supplies like pens, pencils, notebooks, erasers and occasionally throw stars--they were in style here in September 2005, when one of my students demonstrated how to throw one at a wall. How could I not buy one? For 3000W I felt I couldn't go wrong. It's useful for target practice, intimidating drivers that cut me off, and capping my friends when they don't expect it. And right now, before posting this, they don't suspect a thing. This will be an experiment in seeing how often they read this, in seeing how prepared they are. Knowing them, they're prepared. They live together, Bryan and Greg, and have 4 such replica guns in their small apartment. I believe Bryan sleeps with his replica Uzi, finger on the trigger, while Greg shoots passersby from his window. A few weeks ago, Bryan shot random tough guys--they standing around being macho and talking about their souped up cars under his window--and nearly incured a wrath the toy Uzi couldn't handle. They just may be prepared . . .

What is it with boys, men, guys, whatever you want to call us and guns? Even mild mannered, proper folks can get into shooting their friends after a few beers. This morning one of my adult students told me he spent 100,000W on a CO2 powered BB gun this weekend. He and his wife shoot at targets and sometimes his wife shoots him. I believe this, though of most of my students, he seems to be the one who most realizes that veering off the road of truth provides excellent language practice. In this same class I have another student who speaks English reasonably well. One day a few weeks ago he came to class a little early and told me that the night before he had been on the other side of town in a park. He went to use the public toilet. Before entering he heard some moaning, unintelligible and prolonged. He didn't care. Maybe it's common to hear moaning coming from a public bathroom after midnight on a random week night in this park. He walked inside not thinking anything more of it.

Greg and Bryan, at times, stalk each other in the park late at night. A few drinks and a few guns and there is a park just a block away. This particular night they had grown bored of stalking the other and had decided to act out a more interesting scenario. Bryan was to be a suicidal man, whose wife had just left him, and Greg was to secure the bathroom swat team style, shooting the man-over-the-edge before receiving any pellets himself. Greg was taking his time, concentrating on a window when he heard Bryan screaming and shooting. It was time--Greg jumped in shooting. In the middle of this was my student, Donghyun, shrieking and shielding himself.

Donghyun told me that if it had been a Korean with a gun he would have thought it was a toy. But it was a foreigner, a screaming foreigner with a real looking gun leaping out of a stall, shooting.